You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My dick has a subreddit
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
