I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
