We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
