Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
