Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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