the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
