you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
