I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
