perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
