ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
