also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
