I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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