God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
