the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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