the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
