i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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