RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
