lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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