is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
