a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
