just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
