Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
