I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
