Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
