yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
