i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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