quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
