It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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