there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
