he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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