he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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