i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
