Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
