You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
