I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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