I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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