Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize