so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
