porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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