well you can't waste a boner
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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