now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
