Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
