this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
is that a dick in a sweater?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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