There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
