I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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