I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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