i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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