it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
