Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
