did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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