I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
