Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
