She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
