I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
