Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
