I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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