It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
