there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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