She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
