Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
