How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize