She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize